Oh my glob!

If stakes and garlic were the top two things that could kill a vampire, ninth grade gym was a close third.

I don’t know whether to punch you or hug you.

It had to be hard to be the parent to your parent.

Nothing could convince Aunt Nelly to let Vlad stay home for the duration of the school year, which just goes to prove that parents and guardians don’t care if they’re sending you to face bloodthirsty monsters, so long as you get a B in English.

Henry dropped his voice to a horrifed, but confused, whisper. “A knife? Or a dagger?”... Vlad wrinkled his forehead in uncertainty. “What’s the difference?“Henry shrugged as if it were obvious. “One’s for eating; one’s for stabbing.

Don’t you find any irony in a vampire sucking up?

Vampires don’t sparkle.

If I ever find you lurking about in my thoughts again, Vlad, I will be most displeased. You stay out of my mind, and I’ll sty out of yours. Agreed?

Because all endings have a certain a certain amount of pain, just as all beginnings contain a certain amount of joy.